The possum
by ok. so. i'm lame
Summary: a kakashisakura fiction about sakura being a badass. finally.
1. Chapter 1

This is story where Kakashi is a possum, sometimes.

Disclaimer: this is a disclaimer look on it and all of its magnificence.

Kakashi disliked fighting.

Okay, that might be a little lie. He like fighting. He _really_ liked fighting. It was the one part of his job that he _really and_ _truly_ enjoyed. It got out his aggression that regularly built up having to deal with life, Gai's stupid challenges, the past, Gai's stupid exercises, his genin team's attitude, Gai's stupid spandex, Genma's insinuations about his lack of a sex life, Gai's stupid speeches, the lonely life of a shinobi, Gai's stupid greenness, a Hokage that liked to drink more than give him missions, and ummm, Gai's stupid face.

What Kakashi did not like about fighting was when people attacked him when he was tired, exhausted, already injured, and on his way home.

He didn't have enough chakra or wherewithal to give even a good fight to a genin. However, when attacked by Akatsuki, he might as well just lay down on the grass and read his _Icha Icha_ and wait for death. At least his last thoughts would be pure or mostly pure or pure enough for him.

As he dodged Kisame's first attack. He realized it was only a second too slow as he felt the razor-like sword rip a huge gash in his side. Gasping, he fell back against a tree and slowly slid down its length to the forest floor. Looking into the fish man's face as he steadily approached Kakashi's prone figure he tried to imagine how the guy got along growing up surely being a fish man was bad. But the name Kisame? Maybe he was approaching just to 'Kiss a me?' It was something that made his imminent death look less daunting.

He closed his eyes. The blood loss and pain making his head spin.

Why did he always think inane thoughts in desperate times? Why couldn't he think something deep and worthwhile?

Think. Think. Think.

I wonder if Sasuke would have been so vengeful if he had made him dress in a bunny suit for training? Bunnies weren't very vengeful, maybe they would have helped.

Kakashi could hear the slow intake of breath from the gills of the fish man as he raised his weapon one more time.

I doubt it, Kakashi concluded. It probably would have only increased the vengeful attitude. Okay, serious thinking over. That should compensate for all the asinine thoughts he had in his lifetime.

The waiting blow never came. Kakashi wondered what was taking the stupid fish man so long. Surely, he would revel in the fact that he could kill Konoha's top ninja, if Kakashi didn't say so himself.

He cracked open an eye to see three people standing between him and the Akatsuki. They weren't ninja by any means. Perhaps he should yell out that there was an S-class ninja in front of them. But his mouth wasn't working.

Maybe he had already died.

He was starting to lose the focus of his eyes. He couldn't even feel the pain anymore. He could barely even hear the conversation happening right above him. He slipped into a rather uneasy unconsciousness.

However, slightly later he was very impolitely nudged with a foot.

"Do you think its dead?"

"Nah, hes probably like faking dead, like one of those possum things."

"Possum things? Do you mean a possum? I dunno, he doesn't look like a possum."

A third voice chimed in. "Well, what should we do with him? Leave him here? And hes not a possum, it looks to me like hes from that ninja village, Konoha."

"Why isn't he a possum? He has gray hair, possums have gray hair."

"Look, hes obviously human you dimwit. Plus doesn't he look familiar? Like one of those weird psychos on those bingo books?" No, no he didn't look like anyone, Kakashi silently contradicted. He was in fact a possum, very much a possum. Tail and all.

"Oh man! I think hes that Copy Ninja guy! Look hes even got that left eye problem!" His left eye was his strength. Most definitely not his problem. Just who exactly were these people? He silently pleaded them to go back to the possum idea. 'Maybe if I think possum thoughts.'

"So do we take him with us?" As this proposition came up he was slowly fading back into unconsciousness thinking very very possum thoughts.

"Maybe, we'll have to stop that bleeding though..." And Kakashi fell back into his stupor.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kakashi dreamed he had an innate sense that things were about to get really fucked up. Because he never dreamed. He conditioned his body to refuse fantasies of the mind. They were not prudent for a ninja (Daydreams were ok, though, they didn't count. If the fantasy of the mind was a young girl, this was relevant because who could refuse a lady? Especially if the lady was a seductress of the mind.). If he did dream, it was always of the past.

Kakashi dreamed.

First, for some reason he dreamed about forest creatures, possums especially.

He dreamed the day that Sasuke left.

He dreamed the following months in which he heard little directly from his students, but heard of their exploits.

He dreamed of when he heard that Sakura was studying under Tsunade.

He dreamed of when he heard that Naruto was leaving with Jiraya.

He dreamed of when he heard that Sakura gained chunin rank.

Then he dreamed of what he saw three months ago. Sakura, standing on the parapet of the Konoha walls illuminated by the moon, looking quite poetic.

He was coming back from a mission and was talking to Izumo at the entrance desk. Izumo mentioned that she had been doing that a lot lately and that maybe someone that knew her should go talk to her. He looked at Izumo frowning, annoyed at his less-than-subtle-hint.

He really had no care in what she was doing, so long as she wasn't assigned to him, he wasn't going to be her problem, Kakashi understood alone time better than anyone else. He looked up at her and she caught a glimpse of him and quirked a smile. He waved a hand back and went home.

The next morning he heard she had disappeared.

Tsunade was a wreck for weeks convinced that someone had kidnapped Sakura. She sent out hundreds of groups of chunin to look for her. Nothing ever appeared. Everyone thought that Orochimaru had something to do with it.

But that night, she had seemed decided and in control. Kakashi was sure that she had left for herself. There were days that he considered that he should have taken more of an interest in her than he did the boys, but her needs a ninja and person seemed to be less prudent than theirs. She was capable in her own right.

So imagine his surprise when he woke up on a bed with Sakura standing over him looking annoyed at his present state.


	3. Chapter 3

As Kakashi came back to the living the very first sight he was greeted with was a rather angry face with a twitching eyebrow framed in pink hair.

"Good Morning," he smiled.

"Kakashi, how did you… why are you… where did you even come from?"

When Sakura was flustered and peeved her face turned a very nice pink to match her hair, it was quite becoming actually.

"Long time no see to you too, Sakura."

Her mouth thinned to such an extent that it was hardly visible anymore.

"How did you convince those… those _idiots_ to bring you here? Why on earth ARE you here? How did you find me?"

"One thing at a time Sakura. I'm still reeling from the shock of seeing my long-lost favorite student."

He held his side as he struggled to sit up; no pain, that meant that the "still healing" excuse was thrown out the window.

"So… how are you? Still remember your old sensei?"

The growling sound she made in response to his wit made him decide to discontinue that train of conversation. "As for your first question, the last thing I remember was getting the fur beaten off of my fuzzy possum tail before waking up to your smiling shiny face." She frowned.

"Your analogy doesn't make any sense."

"What is wrong with my analogy?"

"Possums don't have any fur on their tails. What are you really doing here, Kakashi?"

Pulling his most offended look he pointed at himself.

"I had no part in my arrival in this place; this place of false accusations and prejudice. This place… that is missing windows and fresh air."

She sighed and looked around, "My underground base camp?"

"YOUR underground basecamp? Why do you need an underground base camp? Are you a villain in Icha icha?"

"… where I train people to fight back for themselves and hopefully recruit some of them to help in the fight against Sound in what will probably be the deciding battle of all countries of all time."

"Well I guess that does need an underground base camp."

She flashed him a warning look.

"I DO need an underground base camp because of all of the people I have to hide down here. When I found that Orochimaru was recruiting rogue ninjas, I thought we should be doing the same. Do you know what percentage of the population is disgruntled and rogue ninjas?"

He shook his head.

"Well, it's a lot, a lot of people for him to leach off of. I'm trying to offer those people an option. Good or bad? Death and torture or still dying with some scraps of honor?" She looked at him sharply, trying to judge if he was going to tease her ideals.

"That's very noble and pessimistic of you Sakura, why couldn't you just do that in Konoha?" Turning away she sighed in a long and tired way.

"There are a lot of reasons." Placing medical utensils back on a tray, she turned back to the other side of the room. Kakashi took this moment to size up his former student. The fluorescent light of the underground room did her no justice. Here she looked like she was thinner in a feral-cat-like way. Her hair was shorn short and her outfit was a utilitarian green shirt that did nothing for her cleavage, just as camo pants did nothing for her waistline. The room was obviously a medical bay of some sort and with white-washed walls and many beds. It reminded him very much of the Konoha hospital.

"Sooo… what happens now?" She turned back at his voice. Her face was more lined and had lost its youthful innocence. She was sleeker and meaner, a true ninja.

"Well, Mr. Hatake, you can take up residence here and help me teach the poor, unfortunate, and criminal, someday saving the world. Or you can leave."

"That doesn't sound like a full sentence."

"Oh?"

" It's missing the: on one condition part."

"Since you asked: the conditions are that you tell no one about me or this place, AND empty my personal in Kohona bank accounts and send the money to this address."

"Oh, that should be easy. Take money, from a bank, run by ninjas."

"I'm sorry, I thought I had captured and brought back to health Copy-Ninja Kakashi, not Scaredy-Mc-run-away-pants." He frowned at her.

"That was terrible."

"I expect the money in four days, you can post it in this envelope, and it's already addressed to where I want it to go."

He clambered out of bed and walked up to her. He was done being bossed around by people that didn't know what they were doing. He was done with people who threw their lives away on gambles and misfortune and petty ideals.

"I hope you know what you're doing."


End file.
